As a teenager I felt the excitement and enjoyment of spending most of the day with my friends. When school is over, we would do a lot of things that sometimes people would think we were a group of budding addicts. We surpassed those judgments.
On weekends, we would go to a friend's house, drink, sing, watch TV, smoke, and that's all. Our closeness and sometimes being intimate elicited doubts and suspicions from among our neighbors but we had to ignore them.
One time, I decided to enjoy the company of some friends. They were singing, drinking and smoking. They were in a certain abandoned house in the neighborhood. I was shocked to see Arlene smoking for the first time. She was a highschool student and she was the daughter of a nun whom I have considered as my own aunt because she was my dad's close friend.
They knew I never smoked in my life though I had had my taste of gin and beer. I had never been pickled before though the first drop of alcohol on my palate welcomed the start of an addiction.
They seem to be having fun as they were trying to make circles while puffing cigarette smoke.
"Hey,come on try it, it's fun," Arlene said.
"This is her first try but she can make circle smokes, you can also do that," another friend added. I HESITATED...
I am human and as a teenager I was so gulliblle and naive to reject enticing desires. The situation was a concoction of curiosity and peer pressure at the same time. I gave in though I remember vehemently abhorring smoking when I was younger. How could people just burn their money into ashes and make themselves sick by exposing their lungs to smoke? The hypocrisy in me was unfolded, or was it a weakness?
Nicotine is addictive...
On weekends, we would go to a friend's house, drink, sing, watch TV, smoke, and that's all. Our closeness and sometimes being intimate elicited doubts and suspicions from among our neighbors but we had to ignore them.
One time, I decided to enjoy the company of some friends. They were singing, drinking and smoking. They were in a certain abandoned house in the neighborhood. I was shocked to see Arlene smoking for the first time. She was a highschool student and she was the daughter of a nun whom I have considered as my own aunt because she was my dad's close friend.
They knew I never smoked in my life though I had had my taste of gin and beer. I had never been pickled before though the first drop of alcohol on my palate welcomed the start of an addiction.
They seem to be having fun as they were trying to make circles while puffing cigarette smoke.
"Hey,come on try it, it's fun," Arlene said.
"This is her first try but she can make circle smokes, you can also do that," another friend added. I HESITATED...
I am human and as a teenager I was so gulliblle and naive to reject enticing desires. The situation was a concoction of curiosity and peer pressure at the same time. I gave in though I remember vehemently abhorring smoking when I was younger. How could people just burn their money into ashes and make themselves sick by exposing their lungs to smoke? The hypocrisy in me was unfolded, or was it a weakness?
Nicotine is addictive...
More than a decade has passed. I have made New Year's resolutions every now and then, asked advice from people mostly from my students, tapered off, cold turkied...
"I feel the urge again, I have to pause before I finish this post. My cigarettes are on the desk inside my room. It's time to smoke. Ahh, how I love the idea, and I really have to go.
One thought before I leave, I think I have figured the solution to my problem. I just have to smoke if I really want to quit smoking...this seems to be making more sense. "
3 comments:
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Mr. Tapori said...
Frist of all, writing about your own experience and thoughts on any issue is a big step. Secondly when you can understand the difference between good and bad is another success. If you can control smoking that’s an achievement but again it is your personal choice. As you mentioned you are teenager there are many things you will be forced into, which will give you a pleasure in beginning but in long run it will do harm to you. When I was a teenager my father told me that “Son until you turn 25 everything in your way which will be easy is not good for your future, anything you want to achieve and secure for the rest of your life will be hard but if you can over come that you will have successful life. Believe me when I say that I was the best advice I ever got and I have no problem sharing that with the rest of the world.
Kudos to you for your wonderful blog. Keep it going.
September 15, 2007 at 9:42 AM
Vivienne said...
I love how you incorporate things as characters. They take on a life of their own. You could take this in many different directions, even intangible things like rain, or feelings. Nice work.
September 17, 2007 at 10:20 PM
LORD MANILA STONE said...
thanks a lot vienne, there are indeed many things playing in my mind, and i am still having a hard time how to present them with some touch of creativity, thanks for that wonderful input...^^
September 18, 2007 at 1:56 AM