Characters In My Life

There must have been thousands of times I doubted his existence. I always seem apprehensive if he is a reality. Is he there? Does he really know I exist? And if he does, does he always see me? He must know every minute details about me. They say he is omnipotent. Do I really have to care if he seems unresponsive of my needs? Or maybe, I just think of these because of my selfish nature...

Why do I tend to get rid of him in my thoughts when things turn out to be bad, when things don't go my way? When all things seem right, do I even care? I don't even bother to go to church anymore these days. The idea of him is just perhaps inveterate, ingrained...

I doubt, I believe, I doubt and I believe again. It has been a cycle. I am sad, I am happy, I am in trouble, I am ok.

Why do I feel guilty when an infirmity sinks in me? Why is my faith always my consolation when I feel helpless? When things go my way, I don't thank him. I am ingrate, I should admit.

Waiting, waiting, and waiting for me. Though I have doubts, he is just there I know. I should be in a hurry.